


Open Secret

by LouLa



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Crossdressing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-03
Updated: 2012-02-03
Packaged: 2017-12-09 01:25:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/768359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouLa/pseuds/LouLa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't just a one time thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Open Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate universe in which Bella does not exist.
> 
> Certain parts of this may be unintentionally offensive (references to kink shaming.)
> 
> Written for this Twi Kink Fest prompt: (NSFW) http://twikinkfest.tumblr.com/post/12720807365/slash-any-pairing-one-of-the-vamps-has-a-secret
> 
> Huge thanks to Mar for the beta.

It wasn't just a one time thing.

He told himself it would be, but then the first time turned into the second, the second into the third, the fourth, and so on. It became almost like an addiction, a need. He couldn't think of anything else but next time, _next time_ , feeling guiltier and guiltier about how he _couldn't stop_. There wasn't supposed to be a next time. It was supposed to be _just once_ , out of curiosity, and then he would never think about it again.

It was his secret ― dirty, dark, and deep. Something no one else would ever, could ever, know about. He kept it hidden, locked away within himself. He pretended he was normal, played the part so convincingly, and nobody suspected a thing.

Until everything changed. Everyone _knew_.

―

Jacob and Leah pitied Seth. Seth knew it just as well as Edward did, could hear it just as clearly. The more they tried to keep their thoughts away from him, the louder their inner voices spoke.

None of them could help it, really. Not Leah, for being disgusted by the images she saw in her little brother's mind. Not Jacob, for wondering if he had done the right thing by separating from the pack to protect Seth from their brothers' ruthless taunting. Especially not Seth, for being exactly how he was.

It was the pity that bothered Seth the most. He didn't understand it, just as they didn't understand him. He didn't _feel_ like he needed to be pitied, couldn't grasp what was so wrong with the one thing that was different about him that made them feel sorry for him.

Jacob, a boy Seth had literally grown up with, who he admired, looked up to all of his life, and thought of as a true brother, couldn't stand to be alone with him, couldn't look him in the eye, could hardly speak to him without becoming uncomfortable. Seth's own sister thought he was a freak, a disgrace. She wondered what must be wrong with him to make him want such things.

Seth knew they wouldn't understand; it was why he worked so hard to hide it. But when the change came, everyone knew his secrets. They all had things they didn't want anyone else to know, but being a part of the pack meant spilling every last thought into your brothers' heads. No one else had a secret like Seth's; they hid small, inconsequential things, innocent things. They all knew Seth's secret immediately, could see it in Seth's mind just as Seth did. Try as he might not to think about it, it was there at the forefront of his thoughts just like it always had been.

They didn't go easy. There was outrage and disgust, and that was when they still thought it was just a fantasy. Once they realized Seth's thoughts were memories, the abuse grew worse ― teasing and threatening and endless laughing, fighting, ganging up and picking on him ― and Seth was the youngest, the smallest, he never won.

Leah, who made a point to avoid Sam at all costs, to never acknowledge him as her 'leader,' pleaded with him to force the pack to leave Seth alone. Sam wasn't moved, couldn't be. He believed Seth needed it, to 'toughen him up,' to make him 'fit for the pack.'

Leah went to Jacob, knowing he was the only one who could convince Sam, the only one who didn't mercilessly berate her little brother, and the one with more right to the pack than Sam himself.

It had taken more than just a little persuading on Leah's part, but Jacob agreed. Sam was livid, outraged to be questioned as Alpha of the pack. Sam wouldn't see reason, and Jacob, who already felt leashed, tired of Sam's ways, split from the pack and took Leah and Seth with him. It wasn't something he necessary wanted to do; he had no desire to be anyone's Alpha, but Sam left him little choice. Jacob couldn't watch Seth suffer because Sam refused to protect one of his own.

But he still questioned his decision every day, wondered if it was truly for the best or if Sam had been right. Seth tried to change, did his best to stop wanting something that caused everyone else so much distress. Of course, the problem was that it had always been more than just a simple want for Seth; it was as deeply ingrained in him as the ability to shift into wolf form, it was part of who he was.

―

Edward often found his ability to read the minds of others to be a curse more than anything else. He hated it ― the constant litany of everyone else's thoughts running through his head. Lately, it wasn't such a terrible thing.

He could often be found listening in on the nearest pack of shifters' thoughts. The three of them were quite a group.

Jacob, with his reluctance to be an Alpha. Leah, with her completely unrefined, coarse way of thinking, but always with a sense of care beneath. And Seth, soft and easy and hurt.

He found them intriguing, each in their own separate ways. It was likely proof of how utterly bored he was that he would sit out there for hours just listening to them.

Seth interested him the most.

It had been weeks since Edward's infatuation with the wolves began, and within that time, there had been a noticeable change in the demeanor of the pack. Jacob was growing complacent to his circumstances and finally beginning to accept his role as a leader. Leah, a bit of an egotist from the start, was reveling in her 'Beta' status. But Seth was becoming listless. He wasn't thriving in his new pack like they assumed he would. Leah had hoped, _prayed_ , that Seth would be able to forget the past and move on from it.

That wasn't how it worked. Seth was happier without the constant harassment, of course, but it wasn't any easier. He couldn't just _forget_ , and his thoughts and needs were still there, as ardent as ever, despite all he had done to get past wanting those things.

It was tearing him apart. Jacob and Leah couldn't help him, wouldn't have the first clue _how_ ― and maybe they were blind to just how much he _needed_ help.

―

Edward hesitated before crossing over the imaginary line that separated the Reservation from the rest of the surrounding land. No one would approve of him breaking the treaty by stepping foot on Quileute territory, but his mind was made up.

Alice had already wordlessly confronted him about his decision, and while she didn't agree with his choice, and would lose her ability to foresee the future once a wolf became involved, she remained silent. She didn't understand, couldn't, and Edward wouldn't even begin to know how to explain himself; he just knew this was something he had to do.

Edward meant no harm to anyone. It was unfortunate that he would have to risk his family's stability by breaking the treaty, but he wouldn't back down from this ― he didn't _want_ to and some part of him said that he _couldn't_.

Sam's pack had no reason to expect a breach in the treaty; no reason to assume there was a threat, or to monitor the border land. With care, Sam would remain oblivious to his presence. Only Seth, and eventually Jacob and Leah, would know of his invasion on their land. Edward could only hope that when Jacob inevitably found out, he would chose to keep the information within his pack.

Together, Jacob, Leah, and Seth patrolled the acres of land closest to what was deemed as the Cullens' territory, while Sam and his pack kept close to the beaches and town. The packs met regularly to share their knowledge and update each other on any threats, though there hadn't been any new vampires in the area for many months. They coexisted within the Reservation, two packs bound by fate and separated by conflict.

With a deep breath, Edward took his first step onto Quileute land and didn't look back. There were no trails to follow, only scents. He picked up Seth's and kept on it straight to a small cabin set off of the main road through La Push. Listening carefully, he knew that only Seth's mother was home. Leah was with Jake, and Seth had yet to return ― but he'd be back soon, Edward was counting on it.

Sue was a quiet woman, her thoughts a slow tumble of honesty and sincerity. She worried for her children, mourned her husband ― she loved him very much, just as she loved her children and couldn't bear the thought of losing them too.

Edward liked her instantly. She was a good mother. It was obvious where Seth inherited his candor from. He was very much like her in thought ― sweet and simple.

He slipped silently into the house through Seth's bedroom window. Sue hummed a tune while she prepared lunch for her son, anticipating his return just as Edward did.

Cataloging the scents in the room, Edward followed the one that stood out the most ― a heady mixture of musk and cotton. Seth was always careful to keep the exact location to himself, but Edward had managed to gather that they were in his bedroom by listening to his thoughts. He also knew that Seth meant to burn his first purchases, along with all the others, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, Seth had hidden the items where no one else could find them, unless they were determined enough to search his bedroom in wolf form ― or possessed the senses of a vampire. Of course, Seth would never have thought of that; he had no reason to.

Edward's senses quickly led him to Seth's bed. He knelt down beside it, and found the loose floorboard, silently extracting it with his hand. Inside was a simple box, narrow enough to fit in the tight space. Edward pulled it out and replaced the floorboard before standing.

He found a sheet of scrap paper on Seth's desk and penned a simple note.

_Seth,_

_Your mother is safe. I have no intentions of hurting her, you, or anyone else. I have in my possession something that means a great deal to you, and all I ask is that you come alone so I can return it. Eat lunch with Sue and follow my scent north._

_My regards,  
Edward._

He left the note on the windowsill, held in place by the window he closed behind him. He hoped it would be enough to ease his mind, though Edward had kept his note vague on purpose. He didn't mean to frighten Seth; he wanted to do the exact opposite in fact.

Seth would certainly notice his scent in the house immediately, and his instincts would likely kick in. Edward left the note with the hope that it would provide some reassurance but not give him away entirely. He wanted Seth to come find him, but he needed him not to feel threatened as well.

Edward picked a neutral location, far enough away to hopefully deter either of their families from interfering, but close enough for Seth to find him in a reasonable amount of time.

It didn't take long for Seth's thoughts to reach him. He ran fast ― long, strong, muscular wolf limbs carrying him through the woods easily. He was close, drawing closer each second. Edward could hear Seth's anger, but knew he had done as Edward asked and came alone.

The thoughts running through Seth's mind were completely contrary to his normal calm simplicity. His head was full of words he normally loathed even hearing ― leech, bloodsucker, parasite.

He skidded to a stop as soon as he spotted Edward in the clearing. Pawing the ground impatiently, he snarled and snapped, demanding to know what Edward wanted.

Edward remained stoic, calmly watching Seth pace nervously and pant with exhaustion from running the entire way. Beneath all the anger and suspicion, Edward could hear Seth's fear, his panic. He wondered why Edward brought him here, alone, what he wanted, why he'd gone to Seth's bedroom and taken his _things_. He was almost as scared of what Edward wanted with that part of him as he was of Edward himself. He thought maybe Edward planned to humiliate him further, tell his mother about her son's queer tendencies, but then why bring him all the way out here, away from everyone else, if not to hurt him physically as well?

"Seth," Edward spoke softly. Seth's pacing stuttered to a stop and he slowly turned to face Edward, head held high though his mind was full of his worst fears playing out.

Edward remained watchful as he took a step forward, setting the narrow box down carefully on the ground between them.

"I know it's a lot to ask, and that you have no reason to, but I want you to trust me, Seth," Edward said, folding his arms behind his back in a small sign of submission.

Seth eyed him warily, all the while wondering what Edward could possibly want from him. He had so many questions, many of which Edward had no intention of answering. Despite the distrust and the residual anger Seth held onto, Edward knelt down to open the box ― and opened himself up for an attack, if Seth wished it, though Edward would know it was coming before it was too late.

Seth stiffened noticeably, muscles going taught, and he grew even more confused when Edward set the lid aside. Edward knew what to expect when he opened the box, he'd seen it before, many times, in Seth's mind, but the contents still took his breath away.

The color was richer than Edward had seen through Seth's thoughts, a deep blood red that made Edward's mouth water. Every delicate string and thread, every swirl of lace and perfectly stitched seam ― all so much better than Edward had expected.

 _What the hell do you want?_ Seth asked impatiently, directing the question straight to Edward for the first time.

Edward let his lips curl up with the slightest hint of amusement as he stood up and backed a few steps away from the box. "I want you to put them on," he said, keeping his voice as clear and straightforward as he could manage without sounding _too_ demanding.

Even Seth's thoughts stuttered in his state of shock at Edward's request. The _what... what... what is he... why is he... what..._ eventually tapered off into a resounding, _Why?_

"I need you to trust me, Seth. I will show you why, but I need for you to be patient and to please put them on."

Edward put some more distance between himself and Seth before dropping gracefully to the ground. Seth had no reason to trust him, but he had no reason to distrust him either. Edward would do everything he could to make Seth realize he had nothing to be afraid of, that Edward wouldn't hurt him.

Seth's anger seemed to have dissipated. The only conscious thoughts running through his mind were of his confusion, his uncertainty. Seth didn't understand what Edward wanted from him, what Edward could possibly gain from him doing what he wished.

But there was more to it. Beneath all of Seth's dubious questioning was his desire. His thoughts of being accepted by someone, anyone; his _need_ to feel the silky slip of lace against his skin.

Edward was under the impression that it took a great deal of concentration on a shifter's part to turn back to their human form, but Seth hardly seemed to notice as his body blurred and shivered its way back to that of a man. It was fascinating to see, like magic happening right before Edward's eyes.

Seth seemed dazed as he walked slowly forward, moving carefully as if he was afraid of what was inside of the box. Perhaps he was. Everyone hated him for his desires. They wanted him to change, wanted him to stop. He never imagined anyone would bring it out into the light of day, or ask him to confront it head on with such openness. He wondered if Edward wanted it, if Edward liked it and desired it just as he did. He hoped...

Edward met Seth's eyes as he raised them hesitantly. "It's not the same sort of desire. We want different things," Edward said simply.

At that, Seth appeared even more puzzled, slowly lowering his eyes back to the box. He kept his hands balled up at his sides, his body held rigidly. He didn't seem uncomfortable with his nudity, for which Edward was grateful. It was everything else that made him nervous. His thoughts never once flickered toward the inclination to cover himself, but he couldn't bring himself to dress in the items either, as much as he wanted to. He never thought he would do _that_ in front of someone, never thought anyone would _want_ to see him that way.

"I do, Seth," Edward spoke quietly, afraid of spooking the boy.

Edward could hear Seth's heart rate picking up, hammering in his chest, though he didn't move at all. His thoughts were so chaotic, Edward had to do _something_.

He kept low to the ground as he moved forward, submissive and attempting to appear as least threatening as possible ― not that it mattered, he could kill Seth in an instant if he wanted to. What mattered was that he appealed to Seth's instincts. If he looked like less of a threat, he hoped Seth would view him that way. Edward honestly meant Seth no harm, Seth was in no danger; Edward had absolutely no intention of fighting, even if Seth struck first.

Vigilantly, Edward reached inside of the box to pull out the item settled on top. Seth trembled slightly, though his thoughts weren't possessive as Edward worried they would be. Seth could see the care that Edward was taking in handling his dearest possessions, and his arousal flared along with his hope.

Edward unfolded the garment slowly, letting the sleek material pass through his fingers. He caught the shoulder straps between his fingers and stood slowly. Seth remained perfectly still, the only tell to his nerves being his racing heartbeat.

"May I?" Edward asked.

Seth nodded his consent.

Edward was careful not to touch his skin as he worked the slip up one arm, then the other, letting it fall into place. He quickly tied a bow in the front and stepped back. Seth adjusted it slightly, flushing red in the cheeks as he looked down at himself.

His cock was already mostly hard, but Edward wasn't look at that. The upper half of Seth's body held his full attention. The vivid red material hung open over his toned torso, swaying with each breath. It pulled tight across his chest, bands of lace cutting a bright stripe over the expanse of his broad shoulders. Edward could see the perfect circle of each dark, pebbled nipple beneath the sheer fabric.

Swallowing thickly, he reached inside for the next item.

It was more difficult not to touch Seth's skin as he stepped into the pair of panties, but Edward managed, mostly. Seth had to adjust himself into the tight underwear, tucking the thick length of his cock beneath clinging material.

Edward greedily took in every last detail, to be remembered for all of eternity. The way Seth was enjoying himself would be the most tangible detail of the memory; Edward's favorite part, he knew, would always be how Seth went fully hard as soon as the panties slipped into place, how the band of lace barely kept him contained, how moisture began to seep and soak into the cloth, darkening it further where the tip of his cock pressed against its confinements. Edward would always revel in the scent of his arousal, thick and earthy and rich and masculine ― the femininity of his garments would never be able to veil the fact that Seth was all male.

Shifting his focus, Edward lowered his eyes back to the box, removing the final items from inside.

Seth allowed Edward the honor of putting on the final touch. The stockings were black, ending mid-thigh and stretched to their limits. As if by accident ― though it admittedly was very much on purpose ― Edward grazed his knuckles over the skin of Seth's inner thigh, watching goosebumps spread across his fire-hot skin.

Seth gasped, and Edward moved away from him warily. He would never lose the memory of Seth all dressed up, not the sight of him, the smell of him, or the feel of his skin and the cloth, but it would be a horrible shame for Seth to shift now, ruining his beautiful ensemble in the process and sullying Edward's so far perfect afternoon.

Seth's control remained unbroken; he didn't so much as worry he might shift.

"They'll kill me for this," Seth whispered sadly, moments later. _Was that your plan?_ he added mentally.

"No," Edward said earnestly. "Seth, _this_ was all I wanted."

"What, exactly, do you mean?" Seth wondered aloud.

"You deserve to enjoy this. It's not something to be ashamed of, you should never be afraid to do something that makes you happy. And Seth, you're– You look so beautiful," Edward said softly, raising his eyes to meet Seth's.

"Oh," Seth breathed, ducking his head quickly. Edward could see his smile, the full, honest stretch of his lips, the bright white of his teeth. It did funny things to Edward's long-dead heart.

He took a hesitant step forward, and then another when Seth didn't shy away. He moved slowly, giving Seth the chance to stop him when he reached out to brush the tip of his thumb over the soft skin just above his bellybutton. Seth sucked in a sharp breath, but Edward didn't pull away this time. He followed the open 'V' of the top up to the knot at his chest before going back down the other side, curving the palm of his hand against Seth's side.

"Does it bother you?" Edward asked when Seth shivered slightly.

"It's cold, but no. Actually, it feels kind of... nice."

Edward smiled then, knowing by Seth's thoughts that he was being honest.

For Edward, it felt nothing like he had expected. He imagined the heat from Seth's skin would begin to cool under his touch, but he just continued to radiate heat into Edward's palm. Like the sun warmed a stone, he drew the warmth of Seth's body into his own.

Edward dropped his hand to curl around the jut of Seth's hip, and Seth leaned into the pressure, wanting more. His thoughts took an abrupt turn.

_Everyone will think I'm an even bigger freak for enjoying this, even more than before, with him._

Edward pulled his hand away at the show of discomfort from Seth. "You're not a freak."

Seth grimaced and shook his head. "We're supposed to be enemies."

"But we're not, we should be allies. We share the same enemy. I dislike the way others of my kind feed just as much as you do."

Seth huffed out a breath and grinned slyly before reaching out to clasp his fingers around Edward's wrist, bringing his hand back to his waist. "You make it impossible to hate you." _But they'll never understand,_ Seth thought wistfully.

"Most find it difficult to understand what frightens them."

"I'm not afraid."

"I know."

Seth's mind was clear, decided, and Edward took a final step closer, completing Seth's thought as he leaned in for a kiss. Edward met him halfway.


End file.
